


Anymore

by Southern_Breeze



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: F/M, Missed Opportunity, Office Party, Realizations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 23:51:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5110025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Southern_Breeze/pseuds/Southern_Breeze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Tirnel's "Don't Close Your Eyes" as well as the song "Anymore." This short ficlet deals with William's emotions and realizations towards Grell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anymore

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tirnel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tirnel/gifts).



****

Anymore

He sat at his desk, desperately attempting to focus on the paperwork that spread before him, but his mind was elsewhere. This wasn’t like him. Normally, he was focused and on task, but now his mind was a swirling vortex of unasked questions, possibilities, and scenarios. He desperately tried to push it down into the far corner of his mind; to seal it away like he usually did, but it just didn’t work this time. He was tired pretending, and he couldn’t deny it anymore.

He loved her.

She prided herself as an actress, but he had been the one to give a performance of a lifetime. To pretend that her presence, her scent, and even the sound of her voice didn’t cause his heart to beat faster was an act that took all of his strength an energy, but now he was too tired. He couldn’t go on pretending. Not anymore. Not when his mind just kept creating a picture of them together, him and Grell, standing side by side forever. Now was the time for him to take his chance.

A soft knock interrupted his thoughts, and he manage to calm the tremble in his voice to say enter. The door began to open, and he half hoped it was Grell striding into the office so that he could tell her all the things he wanted to say while he still had the courage, but it was only Ronald.

“Are you coming to the party, Mr. Spears?” Ronald asked, his two-toned eyes sparkling with what William thought was a mixture of mischievousness and liquor. “It’s already heating up.”

He signed dramatically and adjusted his glasses. “Office parties are a waste of time,” he announced, although he had already pushed away from his desk to stand.

Ronald’s smile only grew. “A bit of fun never hurt anyone,” the young reaper announced. Laughing, he disappeared from the door and hurried back to the party.

William sighed again, but this time it was to keep his nerves under control. A crowded party would be the perfect opportunity to talk to Grell. He would just guide her to a corner where no one would hear, and surely she wouldn’t make too much of a scene even if he had missed his chance. Besides, she had once swore to love him forever.

But that was before he had broken her heart with his continual denials.

Keeping his expression as stony as ever, he walked out of his office and down to a larger room downstairs. It wasn’t only Dispatch who was at this party, so it was quite crowded as well as noisy. Music was playing, although he didn’t recognize the song, and some couples were dancing while others shouted and laughed. Keeping close to the wall, he walked slowly as his eyes scanned the crowd, but his breath caught in his throat when he saw her scarlet hair swirling about her dancing form – mixing with the long, silver hair of her partner.

Everyone else had moved away from the pair as they danced. It was as if they sensed something magical, and he realized he wasn’t the only one who was looking. She looked so beautiful at this moment that it nearly hurt. Her fair skin, her flaming hair, her lithe form that moved effortlessly combined to create a work of art that no mortal hand could ever recreate. What was even more breathtaking was the gentle smile on her face as she looked up her dancing partner. It was obvious. She was in love.

Had anyone looked at him at that moment, they would have seen the hurt in his eyes, but he quickly blinked to hide his true feelings. She looked so beautiful, so good in love, that he dared not to disturb her, but he knew he couldn’t stay here any longer. He had to be happy for her, or at least act like he was happy for her sake, but he just didn’t know if he could keep up the appearance.

Not anymore.


End file.
